By: lifestor | Sept. 27, 2020, 9:47 a.m.
Lower your expectations on people, that way you wouldn’t get hurt or disappointed. That is all we want to do, except, that isn’t how I picture life to be. The truth is, it hurts when no one cares. It hurts even more to know that you shouldn’t expect them to care. But why? Why have we become so conceited? Where is our humanity? Why are we so self-absorbed? So, we want to be alone, we don’t want people to bother us with their issues. Okay, that’s fine, we can stay away. We can pretend that the world revolves around us and we are too busy to care about others or their issues because what we are doing with our lives is more important than what people have to say or their issues, then, how about we all cease to exist so that you are left alone on earth to keep at your issues? Furthermore, you don’t need us anyway?
“Step one you said we need to talk,” do we though? Do you really care if I did? Or maybe you do, but what can you really do if I talk. Either you judge me or I am a bother to you. Call it trust issues but I have lost faith in humanity. I am convinced that you don’t care and when I open up, I feel worse than I did before. I know the world doesn’t care how I feel because I know me too, sometimes I don’t care about anyone but me, I want to be the centre of my universe, I wish no one expected anything from me, I wish I didn’t expect anything from myself, I wish I was contented with the life I am living but then the world calls my worries a disease and suggest that I should talk about how I feel, then I will feel better. I am not opposed to that, only, the world doesn’t really care. I am left “between the lines of fear and blame.” Mostly blaming myself for existing rather than being alive, fear that my life will be this miserable for the rest of the years to come.
“Where did I go wrong?” So, I chose to give back the universe what it gives me. I chose not to care as the world doesn’t, but “I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness.” Instead if I had chosen to do what I thought life was about, if I hadn’t lost faith in humanity, they would be here, they would be alright. Instead, I thought I should act how the world made me feel. I should return the favour to the world and not care about anyone else, as they didn’t care about me. Somehow, I knew how to save a life but I didn’t.
I would very much like to “lay down a list of what is wrong, the things I’ve told you all along,” but I don’t have that much faith in humanity, but despite my questionable faith in God, Ï pray to God that he hears me.” Because if he doesn’t, at least I wouldn’t feel worse having not met him than I feel about someone I expected to care.
I know we can care; I know we have it in ourselves to care. We just don’t do it because we somehow feel that no one goes out of their way for us. I have lost faith in humanity and maybe you have too. Perhaps it is because we expect more than we could give others. Maybe it is because we think we have the right to people’s help. Maybe they aren’t in a position to help us and have nothing to say or could refer us to other people. Maybe what they are going through is worse than what we are but we do not give them a chance to express themselves and instead choose to burden their lives with our own issues instead of giving them a chance to also be able to share with us. Maybe they need us more, but we wouldn’t listen. Because we are too conceited and so we think the world should revolve around us. If only we had just a little faith in our humanity, then we would know how to save a life. Our own and that of the people we care for.
How to save a life by the Fray - https://youtu.be/cjVQ36NhbMk
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